Dear Ian, No jetski for you this year!!!

A copy of a letter from Santa to my Brother in Law, December 2008

Dear Ian....

Called in on JayJinx today, she asked me to drop you a line to explain why there won't be a jet ski in your Christmas stocking this year.

 Courtesy of David Blackwell  cc

Truth is, I am strapped for cash, aside from the GFC and all of the usual Christmas expense, I had to fund Rudolph joining a gym, he has been overdoing the mince pies! 

Then there is Mrs Santa!! What a woman!

She wants to move house! Got a bit of a bee in her bonnet, about "moving somewhere warmer". Can you believe it? After all these years, she has suddenly decided she has had enough snow. An age thing probably, a bit wobbly on her feet and starting the feel the cold more than once upon a time.

I made her a new pair of slippers – one of our reindeer passed on in September and while we thought about a new rug in front of the fire, Mrs S. came first!

The elves aren't happy (surprise!), they don't think they will look good in swimwear, they are also quite fond of their little hats and don't feel they will be suited to a hot climate. Of course, they are all worried about the cost of relocating!

cc by Christmas Stock Images

They have started dropping hints about a pay rise!!!!  Making snide little comments about inflation and things like "OMG have you seen the price of a pair of sunnies?" They haven't had a pay rise since 1933, so perhaps a 1% increase isn't out of the question.

And the price of the removals! Can you imagine how much it is going to cost to shift the entire toy factory? The cost of real estate doesn't bear thinking about! Land here at the North Pole is "cost effective", after all, who wants to live here? Everywhere else you look, prices are through the roof! (Ouch, shouldn't have mentioned rooves!! Had a bit of a nasty landing earlier this week) I can't see how we will be able to shift this place quickly! We'll be lucky to get the asking price!

Anyway, I can hear you ask, what has this got to do with my jet ski? How about everything?

Jet ski's don't come cheap! Don't think we didn't try, even held an emergency summit with the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny to talk it through. We had a couple of choices, either buy you a jet ski and deny thousands of little children that special moment on Christmas morning, or don't buy you a jet ski and proceed with the order of cinders. Rudolph (as always) stuck his big red nose in. He voted for the jet ski but then he hates doing the cinder run!

The Easter Bunny was in favour too, but he just wanted to test drive a few, typical, I find him a little selfish and … huh … LAZZZZZY!  You just wouldn't believe it! He thinks making a few chocolate eggs each year means he can sit back on his fluffy bobble tail for the rest of the time. He has no idea! He should try doing Christmas sometime!! A job swap would soon sort him.

Sorry! I shouldn't burden you with my problems. Stressed! Time of the year!! Washed the old red suit this morning and it has shrunk! Of course Mrs S hinted I had overdone the Christmas pud one too many times, but I am sticking with "its shrunk". Might have to go with the blue one instead, been dying to try it for years, really fancy something a bit different – for a change! Red is just so "retro" these days …

The Tooth Fairy was passionately against the jet ski!  I don't know what you have done to upset her, but she said you would only get one over her dead body!!  (As she wouldn't be much use dead (couldn't even knit a finger mitt), we would prefer to keep her happy).  She has had an expensive year too; apparently the price for teeth has sky rocketed so she is playing the stress card and making too many rash decisions.  She is even hinting at retiring!  That'll upset a lot of littlies ...

The arguments raged for hours until Mrs S stepped in. She reminded us to ask the "BIG question"! Have you really been a good boy? Well I can tell you, that stopped everybody! No more arguments! Yes! You know what I am talking about don't you? You haven't been totally honest have you? Remember? That little "incident" earlier this year? We'll leave it at that shall we? Let's just say that you will be lucky to find ANYTHING in your Xmas stocking this year!

Well I hope that explains it all for you. I have to dash ... Lots to do!

Have a great Christmas

Father C!

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The choices we make ...

So today is the first day of the rest of my life. The choices I make are mine, I can choose to be happy or sad, I can choose optimism or despair, I can be morose, ill tempered or cheerful. I can choose to be resentful, unkind, even cruel or I can be fair and honest and respect my own innate sense of justice - be true to myself. Whatever I choose will impact and possibly even influence those around me. 

So is the choice difficult? No, not when you put it like that.

It has been quite a week! An emotional roller coaster ride, from the worst to the best and everything in between. I began the week with a heavy heart and ended it with new memories, memories to treasure forever, valued friendships and most importantly, optimism and an acceptance that when you wake up in the morning, you really have no clue how the day might end.

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Scotland and ISIS!

Devolution of Scotland - say No!

By Emoscopes (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

You can be Scottish AND British!

Both in the news and my title for this post may suggest a link between the Scottish independence and ISIS, but little is less likely. The Scots are courageous, patriotic and rarely, if ever, cowardly, lets hope they are not brave to the point of stupidity. I am in the "NO" camp and fervently hope that our Scottish brethren are not so impassioned that they vote 'yes' on Thursday 18th August 2014.  Let's stay together!

Alex Salmond is a man hungry for power, perhaps lonely as recently suggested by one newspaper, but there is no doubt he believes passionately in his cause and is on a quest, but does that make him right? Is it truly just independence he wants? To be known forever as the man that broke a long standing union, a union that, at times, has had its troubles and disagreements, but one that stands united and strong on the world stage. How sad Alex, if your legacy is to destroy not build.

Accounting for just 8% of the UK population, can Scotland and its 5.295 million people truly survive without their staunchest supporters? Salmond's intent to keep Scotland a part of the EU is a contradiction to his promoting devolution, Scotland will inevitably become a small cog in the very large wheel that is, in the main, a dysfunctional Europe.

Forget the debate about debt and North Sea oil, such things are finite, surely this debate is about so much more. It is about patriotism, it is about politics, it is about independence and empowerment but it is also about collaboration, strength, a powerful voice on the world stage, not a measly croak all too easy to ignore. It is about a union of like minds, shared history, a shared future, access to education and medical resources. A shared military protecting our borders in times of uncertainty, freedom and global recognition of British citizenship and to be a part of the Commonwealth international community.

Being British and a part of the UK is something special, it gives you that warm fuzzy feeling when you think of it, it's quirky, it's a little odd, it has pomp and ceremony, it has the Queen and Prince Philip, it has a big history and a big future.  Let's stick together, vote no on Thursday!

Voting?

Perhaps the biggest injustice is for such an historic event as the potential breakup of the United Kingdom to be exclusively voted on by residents of Scotland from 52 Commonwealth countries, 27 European Union countries and yet nobody in England, Ireland or Wales is permitted a say. Isn't this fundamentally wrong?

Isn't it also wrong that just one vote in favour over those against will mean the bill goes through. A vote of 50.001% to 49.999% will mean the devolution of Scotland and a break up of the United Kingdom, surely just one person should not hold so much power? Isn't this fundamentally wrong?

Distraction?

And what of the distraction?  Here's where ISIS comes in! The world sits practically on the brink of war, thankfully, Russia and the Ukraine has gone off the boil but what of the Middle East? What of ISIS and their brutal murder today of a British citizen, a Yorkshireman brought up in Perth, Scotland. A man who's parents live in Ayr, Scotland. I was disgusted to read this morning a comment on a newspaper article about Scottish nationalism:

Who are we defending ourselves from? We're not going to be entering every single world conflict at the behest of the US like the UK currently does. Will we be invaded by sheep from Wales? Perhaps some Badgers escaping the cull in England. Scotland has a proud military tradition, it won't go to waste but our soldiers will not die fighting in foreign lands.

Should the vote go through as a yes, is this comment accurately representative of what the Scots actually think? I don't believe it is, no. The distraction of the Scottish referendum from such major world changing events and the threat of such cruelty, is at the behest of one man, passionate though he may be. Let's hope this vote results in a no and puts this debate to bed once and for all so the world can focus on the elimination of a barbaric, inhuman group who are propagating an evil culture.

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A Hackathon - GET-A-WAY - We Did It Our Way!

As the CIO, leading a team of 150+ passionate computer professionals, I was looking for something a bit different and inspirational.  I settled on the idea of a hackathon!!

Never heard of a hackathon? What about a hackfest? No? OK, well a hackathon is generally an event where computer programmers get to spend a pre-specified period of time, typically 24 or 48 hours having loads of fun and "doing their own thing".

So I set about doing some research ... looks like everybody's who's anybody's doing it! Atlassian, Facebook, Google and closer to home, realestate.com.au.

Location! Location! Location!

Did we do the same? Sure ... well no, not quite, we did it our way and so last week, our 1st ever 24-hour hackathon kicked off in Brisbane. Over 100 representatives from several departments came together for GET-A-WAY, an innovation themed event where anybody could create an idea, form a team and make IT happen – in 24 hours! Announced in early June, lunchtimes and personal time were soon sacrificed as teams formed and ideas blossomed! Secrets were whispered, ideas exchanged and non-disclosure agreements signed ... in blood!

Our hero, Captain Robin, convened his merry crew of 13 to support the event and determine the rules. A lot of thought went into the rules, "there are none just avoid using babies and animals for experimentation!"

Intensity!

2pm Thursday madness prevailed and a frenzy of activity overwhelmed as computers and teams arrived, goody bags and t-shirts were distributed, loud conversations and swaggering bravado flowed through the Grand Ballroom! Within 20 minutes, reality hit! This was it, time for serious conversation, concentration, passion and determined planning! Intensity soon followed!

So much to think about!

2pm Friday and the final bell tolled, well it sort of fizzled really but everybody got the message, it was over and each team had just 5 minutes for "the pitch!". The bar was set high, the ideas inspirational and our panel of 3 awesome judges [myself included of course] offered feedback and a range of prizes were awarded.

Time for beer and pizza!

Sweet 16 was the order of the day – 16 teams, 16 presentations and 16 metres of pizza consumed! So many stories to tell, so many pictures, some spent the night, at least one slumbered in a local hotel, others napped in cars! Yes really!

On Saturday, the surrounds of Brisbane reverberated to the gentle sound of snoring as adrenalin abated and normality returned!

Well done to all who took part, everyone a winner!  Congratulations team, you made it a resounding success!  We have new and innovative ideas, our teams are stronger than ever, motivated and passionate, all of us learned so much and we all had fun doing IT!  ... and for me personally? Definitely a highlight of my career! And what a relief!  A success!

Where shall we travel next? Shhhhh ...  GET-A-WAY Sydney is already set for mid October!!! Can't wait!

The Winners!  Lisa and Leila!

The Teams!

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I remember ...

As I approach mid life, I want to say to my Grandparents, I remember you! I want to capture memories before I am too old and forget them ...

Nanna, I remember the old folk's home, where we would visit you, where you were a day person, only on Saturdays.  It smelled of pee and old people, not you of course just others. You would give me a Shilling pocket money, every week, you told me it would have bought a loaf of bread many times over when you were a girl.  The equivalent of five new pence, but to me at 8 or 9 years old, 2 packets of crisps (potato chips) at the tuck shop and today a tiny coin that hardly has any value at all. You would religiously walk to our house - a kilometre or so (half a mile), leaning on your walking stick and stopping every few metres or so to catch your breath.  I think of you as old, but you weren't really, not by today's standards, only 20 years older then than I am now, so no, not old, not really.

Do you remember how my sister and I made afternoon tea in your shed? Inviting you and your friend in for your own tea and cake? The shed was all of 3 foot square but you humoured us, made us feel special.  You were born in 1903 and your friend around the same time, so I imagine she has gone too by now.

You took us for days out in school holidays, using your pensioner bus tokens to take us all over the Wirral, New Brighton, Parkgate, West Kirby, I remember.

Originally from Liverpool, home for you was a little ground floor flat, just along the road from the swimming baths at Overpool where Gladys took all the kids from our street swimming each school holidays. We had fun in those days, we didn't have much but with our pushbikes and jam butties (jelly sandwiches to the uninitiated) we would head off for the day, our Mum and Dad never worried cos we were safe, life was different back then.  I must be getting old!  Nostalgia is getting a stranglehold!

And Nanny ... you are as memorable in different ways ... I remember your orange decor - trendy in the sixties. We stayed with you once, slept in the back bedroom, we were kids, it smelled musty and old, with one of those big dark scary wardrobes people had in those days and I remember! I think it was cos Mum thought we had mumps and wanted us out of the house away from Dad.  We didn't, so maybe they just wanted us out of the house!  I'm sure that wasn't the only time you accommodated us, but its the time I remember best.

I tried to shock you by plucking my eyebrows, I was only 13 and dumbo me plucked from the top, well it hurt less, but I was devastated the plucking didn't result in the beautifully shaped brows of my imagination. I had to pencil them back on for weeks!

Dad would take us to see you every Sunday, you were only tiny, less than 5 feet tall.  I remember the stories of Dad's childhood.  How he marched up and down outside your Liverpool home in the war, pretending to be on Guard duty, protecting the street, he was all of 7 year's old at the time.  Or the time he thoughtfully decorated, painting the wall with strawberry jam, a rare commodity during time of rationing and leaving a sticky wall for you to remember it by for years!  Or what about his addiction to syrup of figs?  He only drank the whole bottle once after all! So many other stories lost in the mists of time.

And to my Grandfathers both, I remember you, one of you who limped with one leg shorter than the other, you served in the fire brigade when they wouldn't let you fight in the war, you brought us ice-cream slabs and wafers.  As a pensioner, you would walk the local neighbourhood with your lawnmower, petrol driven to cut the lawn for those less able, I imagine you would call on your lady friend too on your rounds, but I wasn't meant to know about her!  Rose I think her name was.  Tut tut!  I think there is more than a little of your influence in me!

And my other Grandad, I remember how you were a hoarder! You kept everything.  I remember coming to see you for my 11th birthday, you were in hospital, Dad had to get special permission as kids weren't allowed.  They snuck me in through a patio door!  You never came home but I remember.  I remember how they cleared out your shed and it was stashed full, you had even kept Dad's air force uniform from his National Service, 20+ years earlier!

What a lost opportunity that I didn't think to talk to you all more when I had the chance.  Things that we see now as history were things you experienced first hand.  What was it like?  To experience the 20th Century "as it happened"?  To see the increase in adoption of the motor car?  Air travel?  To live through the first world war?  The utter devastation of the flu pandemic that followed?  The early days of women's rights and the Suffragette movement?  What did you think?  The roaring 20's, did you have fun?  How did it feel in 1928 when women won the right to vote?  Did you vote for Winston Churchill?  The fashion changes, showing your ankles for the first time?  The nervous tension and political build up of the depressing 30's?  Then the 40's, and the harsh reality of unfinished business and a second world war, more new fashions and rationing? Then the sweep on the 50's, with Elvis Presley and the Rock 'n' Roll era?  The 60's must have shocked and I can't imagine what you thought when the 70's rolled in!   So much and more!  Sadly, none of you lived to see the end of the century and the advent of the digital age but somehow, I don't think you'd mind too much. You had good lives, but hard lives and I hope you feel your legacy made it all worthwhile, I remember you all so well.

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Life

Your life won't be defined by what you don't do ...

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D-Day 6th June 1944

After knocking out 3 photo albums (Provence, Paris, UK & Brunei - viewable on my Travel blog), it occurred to me this morning that it is way past time for a Blog post!  I have been neglectful but then, nothing has inspired me.  Not a lot of worth in pondering, deliberating, chewing over and thinking about nothing, although plenty do!

I wasn't inspired, until today that is!  On the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings, the focus of the world is on the beaches of Normandy.  As I browsed the news, I surprised even myself, I cried.  I cried for D-Day, I cried for the many who lost their lives, I cried for those who lost their mobility and I cried for those who lost family, mates and neighbours.   I cried for those who lost their faith in mankind because it is their very act which reminds us we must never lose our faith in mankind.  I cried because I felt humbled that so many risked their lives for liberty on that day, 70 years ago.

I wonder if they would think it worth it today?  I hope so.

Veterans, re-enactments, world leaders speeches, fireworks, ceremony and many tears, all marking the 70th anniversary of a pivotal mission, the beginning of the end of 6 years of wretchedness in Europe, and an event that was, in the words of Winston Churchill - "undoubtedly the most complicated and difficult that has ever taken place", a mission involving 3 million troops and costing 250,000 lives.  Many nations coming together with a common goal, we could learn from them today.

Most people of my generation cannot begin to imagine the horror and fear that comes with such a war.  Yes, today, we hear talk of terrorists, likely exaggerated and of course there is the occasional bomb blast and events in the Middle East, none of which is pleasant but imagine, walking out of your front door every day and not knowing if you will return.  For 6 long year's, not knowing if your house will even be there when you return.   Hell!!!  What about going to bed at night not knowing if you or yours will waken and survive tomorrow and if you do, what nightmare will it bring?  The smell of fire, the noise of the air-raid warnings, the bombs, the destruction and the stench of death.  Then the elation of victory, followed by the horror and the discovery of the death camps.  The recovery and rebuilding, reconciliation and forgiveness.

As France played host, I dried my tears and smiled at pictures of lunch and "The Top Table"!  Centre stage Francois Hollande, France's President, surrounded by Queen Elizabeth and Presidents Obama and Putin!  Who'd want to work out that seating plan!  Fortunately Queen Margrethe of Denmark, a very gracious and elegant lady helped even up the numbers and made boy-girl-boy-girl-boy look like the plan all along!

Pictures in the Huffington Post were haunting, images from today overlaying those of yesterday!
 
The stories from the veterans, especially those who took the opportunity to sneak out of their care homes to attend makes for another tear followed by a smile ...

Inspirational!

Eversley Street, Liverpool - my Mum is in the midst of the crowd here somewhere!  Just 2 years old.

Note: I hope the creator of the D-Day image doesn't mind my borrowing it, I could find no accreditation.

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Our imagination is at risk!!!

I have this theory ... I am not a scientist, this is just my own personal opinion.  The electronic, digital, technology age will seriously and adversely impact evolution of the human race.

Imagination is fundamental to invention and yet the imagination of children is no longer being fed.  From birth they have access to free entertainment, TV, game-boy, computers and so much more ... it is no longer necessary for a child to invent a way to entertain itself, no need for make believe, no need to pretend or make up stories, build castles in the air, no need to make play from nothing ... and without this need?

I fear imaginations won't develop and so the evolution of the human race will slow down.

Just a thought ... one that makes me sad, how 'bout you?