But I don't Live Here!!!!

A friend in London asked me to tell their story, here it is.....

So around midnight one day in December, after a supplier Xmas party, I jumped in a cab, a little worse for wear, rang hubby, "be home in 5"!!!  ….. 5 minutes later, in the lift, level 6… out the lift, take a right…. Hubby left the door unlocked, no need to fumble with the key….  but … Wot the?  All the lights are out… how odd!!!!!!! I just spoke to him and he has put the lights out and gone to bed!!!!  Weird! ….. Lock the door, light on…. Hmmmmmm even more odd… he's changed all the furniture!  Mmmm… and where did that shocking pink picture come from, it is horrible…. It took another second or two and then "WTF! I don't live here… ermmmm….. This is not my apartment!"  … stomach dropping, churning, sinking feeling…. turn around, fumble with the lock, EXIT!!  Recheck the number on the door… yep – definitely the wrong apartment - #29!  I live in #43 – 3 floors up! 

Ever since the building got hit by lightening funny things have been happening and now this?  The lift had let me out on the wrong floor!!!! 

I can't recall if I put the light out as I left but I do know I locked the front door!!! Can you imagine those poor people this morning?  The mystery of the locked door and the hall light on??????? Or worse, what if they were out for the evening and left the door unlocked for their own return!!!!! And I kindly locked them out!!!

Thank goodness I didn't get as far as using their tooth brush! Can you imagine!!!!!!

I shan't forget "that day" in a hurry!

Another Dianne memory

I remember her Mum telling me about the time "somebody" was stealing her cigarettes.  The suspects?  Her two boys, ages 8 and 7 respectively or her 4 year old daughter Dianne!

She lined them up on the couch...the kids, not the cigs.... into each mouth went a lit cigarette and what do you know... the boys, coughed, choked and spluttered... sobbed their hearts out!!  But not Di ... Oh no - she sat back, feet not touching the floor and puffed away for all she was worth.... like a 20 a-day smoker!  Honestly, just picture her... cute as a button... FOUR years old... her Mother looked to the future and sighed only 14 year's to go.... but all I can say is: DON"T TRY IT AT HOME!

My friend Dianne

Let me introduce you to my friend Di.... those of you who are under 16, please move on to the next post!

Sadly, I have lost touch with Dianne but whenever I need to find a smile, thoughts of Dianne help.  She is great; loud, young, blonde and not even the teeniest bit of guile.  She is so open and honest you could never find it in your heart to judge her.... Nothing is a secret and seriously I mean nothing! 

Once upon a time, "parking" down a lane... boyfriend in tow! Back seat!  As can happen when you are young (but over 18!), they got carried away ... it wasn't long before she screamed... "OH... Tony ... Tony... we're rolling... we're rolling..."

"Oh I know Babe" says Tony....

"No Tony... really.... the car.... the handbrake... we really are rolling"....

Now, you might think this was confided quietly... girl talk... friend to friend... NOPE!  This was told to an audience... her entire family, Mum, Dad, Brothers and all..... full volume, accompanied by hysterical laughter... honestly... NO secrets!

Giving up smoking

Have you ever given up smoking?  If you have, you will know it is the HARDEST think you will ever do in your life.... in fact, the only thing that stops me smoking now is the thought that I will have to give up again!

did I mention its been 4 years?

Hope for the future?

Since September 2010, when Christchurch suffered its first earthquake the news media has never eaten so well.  Their banquet has included the November 24th Pike River mine disaster and extreme weather sweeping through Europe and the US.  Never before have we seen natural disaster on such a grand scale.  With 2011 barely underway, yet another country has been in the firing line each month ... Australia in January, New Zealand took a turn in February and most recently Japan in March, the most tragic of all.  Alongside this, the Middle East.


Amidst flood, earthquake, tropical cyclones and tsunami's it is difficult to see good, but maybe it is time for our reporters to remind us of the positives and help to restore some of the balance.   The end of a long drought in Australia.  Egypt's freedom from Mubarak, with its sights firmly set on democracy.  Even traditionally greedy world financiers working together to prevent the Japanese Yen from taking a nose dive.  Britain ending exports of execution drugs to the US, a small but significant move away from hypocrisy.  And let's not forget, England winning the Ashes on Australian soil for the first time in 24 years!  Much more importantly,  China putting history and hatred where it belongs and offering aid in a meaningful gesture to Japan and the Arab league working hand in hand with Western Governments to help the Libyan people. 


Good from bad....is this the start of global cooperation?  Let's hope... amidst the disaster, just maybe we are seeing the first baby steps toward a better world. 

My PCI Lamp post

Have you ever walked into a lamp post?

As I left my last job, I cheered!   I waved farewell to 5 years of PCI DSS and all that came with it... audits & bureaucracy.  I just know many of you will sympathise or feel truly envious!  Don't get me wrong, you won't find anybody to fly a bigger flag for secure systems than Moi... but I am far from a natural bureaucrat! Me? Red tape?  Really, we just DO NOT go together - now pink, maybe... pink is my colour.... 

Anyway, I digress.. where was I?  Looking backwards and waving farewell to PCI and then... yes... I turned around and walked slam bang straight into a lamp-post with PCI written all over it!

DOH!!!!!!
I love my job... I love my job.... I love my job ... but I DO!

But you aren't my husband!

My friend Meg was painting the lounge and finding herself in need of more paint, commandeered hubby to drive her down to the store.  Hubby parks the car while she runs inside to pick up the paint.  Shortly thereafter, out she comes, hops quickly into the car, loading two 3 litre tins of emulsion into the foot-well.

Seat belt on and yes, you guessed it...  "BUT ... but.... you aren't my husband"

"No dear, much as I would like to take you home, my wife really wouldn't like it"

At what point does the embarrassment hit?  Immediately?  When you realise you are in the wrong car?  When it dawns on you, hubby has moved to a better spot down the road? Or is it that moment when you find yourself having to extract yourself and two large tins of paint from a stranger's car?

Well honestly, it was the same colour!  Parked in the same spot...

Alpha male? Man or Cat?

Have you ever shared a house with a man and a cat?  At the same time?  Trust me, I did!  Just once and I can promise you, it is never to be repeated nor recommended ....  Cat was there first living happily with Woman.  Loved, not spoilt, dining on titbits of succulent chicken and making full use of his 4.5KG to take full advantage of the Master Bed.

Within weeks of arrival, man overcame beast.  Firstly, Cat found himself evicted from the bed, soon followed by a lock out from all sleeping quarters.  Cat of course, repaid man with determined door scratching finished off by periodic yowling. Every night.  All night. For weeks.  Cat was very determined to make his displeasure felt and much of the neighbourhood clearly thought Cat abuse was under-way.

Cat, although wary, enjoyed taking every opportunity to sharpen claws on Man's clothing.  Of course, the effect of this on Man was to confirm his suspicions.  "Cat was sly.  Cat thought he was at the top of the food chain.  The Alpha Male.  Cat had to learn!  He was bottom of the pecking order! Worse!! Cat was overfed and spoilt. See! Just look! He needs a trolley to help support his belly as it drags along the floor, just like Garfield."  Of course, this was all the fault of Woman.

The Alpha was Man and clearly Woman could not be trusted to explain this to Cat nor keep Cat in his rightful place.  It took Man to put beast back where he belonged.  Cat had been allowed to think he was Alpha for too long.  Woman had no idea how things should be done.  Of course, Woman knew... the fight between the males was futile - Woman rules.... ask any new car sales man...

Never again!

295 shopping days to Christmas

Just 64 days into 2011... 301 to go....

Already this year we have seen major earthquakes in beautiful Christchurch and The Philippines, revolution in the Middle East, the overthrow of an Egyptian dictator and we watch in horror as a Libyan madman turns on his own people.  Australia's worst disaster with the flooding of Bris Vegas and Queensland.  As if that wasn't enough our hearts filled with fear as Cyclone Yasi headed for our shores.... we've seen flooding in Victoria and a cyclone in Darwin... fires in WA threatened its capital...

Anna showed she has a heart while Julia showed she does not.... Kev confirmed he was an idiot as he waded through sewage and dirty flood water to impress a gullible media pack and then there's Tony.... not a man who thinks much before he speaks... I confess I prefer his fellow Rhodes Scholar, Malcolm...

And amidst all of this, the suggestion of a death penalty for Julian Assange described by Hills as "a bigger threat to the US than Osama Bin Laden"!!  Has he really done something to justify such an enthusiastic response?  A Western Government gone mad!  A nation living in fear that responds to increasing world animosity with threats of war and violence yet never once stops to ask itself "why?"

And then there is the iPad2 and the bionic eye roll out, the controversial NBN and let's not forget Moonageddon! 

What's next?  The flood levy, carbon tax, higher inflation, falling house prices, higher taxes... oh joy....

OH and while I remember... don't forget.... its only 295 shopping days to Christmas....

Rolling Eyes

Even I think my sense of humour is a bit sad at times but some things just really make me laugh.  Am I the only one who laughed at headlines talking about bionic eyes being rolled out?  You can't talk about rolling out eyes for goodness sake....

Impressive technology, awesome and no doubt it will bring something amazing to many....

Did the writer of the headline use the words intentionally?  Who knows... the article certainly caught my eye...

Perfect BBQ Marinade?

Bored one Saturday morning, I decided to be adventurous.  How about we make this afternoon's BBQ steak a little different and marinate it!  So what's in the cupboard....

Take a suitable dish not too deep.... add some freshly ground salt and black pepper corns... and... oh yes... a whole garlic.... crushed... save one clove for very thin slicing... add some hot chilli flakes... then... an egg cup of olive oil, a dash of lemon juice, a chopped onion and stir with a wooden spoon....

Now what else? A very small glass of wine, from last night's bottle.. red or white? who cares... NO... not for you - add it to your mix.... and throw in some soy sauce....

Don't forget to add that thinly sliced garlic clove... give it all another stir and all that's left is to add the steak... make sure both sides are well coated.... cover the dish and pop the lot in the fridge until you are ready to cook!

The downside?  The requests to repeat it for every steak BBQ!!  AHHHHH.....

Don't be scared to try your own variation...just go for it... what's the worst that can happen?

Expecting Joe Bloggs?

Ever had one of those moments?  Your ears just don't work!  I remember once and an open plan office.. too many years ago to mention .. Reception rang in and Betty answered the phone...

     Joe Bloggs is waiting in Reception....

     B: Anybody expecting Joe Bloggs?

     Are you sure his name is Joe Bloggs?

     B: Yes... Joe Bloggs....

     Back to Reception... sorry no - we are not expecting Joe...

     Joe?  No - not Joe...  Chubb Locks!!!!

     B: Oh yes - send him up, we've been expecting him...

OK... not my best, it was funny at the time though... maybe you had to be there...

Feb 2011 - Reflections on My New Job!

Life is not boring.... that's for sure...

As I complete my first 2 years in a new job I can reflect that it has been quite an experience.... After many year's as a Manager in the IT business, week 1 set the scene.  My first Friday night was a late one, due to a computer virus of all things [of course I added value... I ordered the pizza].  In two years I have lived through cyber war, data centre migrations, office relocation's and now flood.... Need I go on?

My resume is going to need a lot of work if I ever do get bored...

Brisbane Floods - Final Chapter

And so, here we are.... The final chapter. I don’t know about you, but I barely slept last night wondering what I might say!

As I reflect on the events of the last week so many moments stand out. I am sure they do for you too, both professionally and in many cases personally! For those personally affected, we are of course thinking of you. In the office, I am not sure I will ever forget asking my team to relocate an entire computer room with 5 minutes notice! The challenge of parking a car or climbing 14 flights of STEEP stairs already in the past and yet only this time last week we were watching the water slowly encroach on our beautiful city and surrounds. Still wondering where it might peak!

This does bring me to the final chapter though. On the PLUS side, we can all be relieved in the knowledge that Wivenhoe is restored to its “normal” 100% full! But the opposite side of the coin? .... Last night was the first low tide.... While drifting off to sleep, I noticed it...... the smell! ... OH! Poor hubby!!! I shouldn’t assume!!! It seems our river hasn’t finished with us yet.... Air freshener anybody?

Yes – that’s it... The last Brisbane Flood installment..... I am sure we all agree - may there never be a next time!

18th January 9am - Brisbane Floods - Swipe Card

Today’s thoughts centre around the beauty of a captive audience, however, I would also like to highlight the stress of thinking up new material!

The stress of a missing swipe card?

Imagine the horror of the moment, arriving at the entrance for work to find I had LOST my swipe card. You cannot imagine the thoughts that flash through your head at such a time! How will I get in? Is there somebody who can let me in? How can I be so irresponsible as to add to the stress people are already under? And OMG! I have to tell HR!!!!!!!

Fortunately an individual (frequently seen in the kitchen was there once again) and was kind enough to open the door after very persistent knocking (and an element of begging) on my part. However, a quiet reminder about security might be in order. He failed to ask me for photo ID and simply opened the door and let me through!

Eventually – the relief of the find!.... A tearful and joyous moment.....

17th January 9:02pm - Brisbane Floods - Parking

The little things in life are sometimes inspirational. It was a credit to our Service Provider tonight that while our infrastructure team are on site installing equipment the Operations Manager personally went out to buy the food for dinner for the team! Vendors produced engineers out of nowhere to help with our plight when they are inundated with a million “high priority” customer requests! Some are not even able to access their own office at Eagle Street and yet they still stepped up.

Although parking continues to be an issue, I can confirm access by lift has been restored in our apartment block. We have access via 1 lift [of 3] and oxygen/fire brigade assistance is no longer required as it is no longer necessary to climb 14 flights of STEEP stairs. Thank you for your concern.

15th January 10am - Brisbane Floods - The Power of The Microphone

The Power of the Microphone

Backup up a little...

Don't you just love the media and their efforts to bring the latest headlines to the nation?

In the aftermath of the Brisbane floods, too early for clean up duty, those of us lucky enough to have power were glued to our TV screens watching the news broadcasts from Kangaroo Cliffs. One famed reporter, who shall remain nameless, stood on the cliffs clearly concerned but stoic and, as always, calm. Not even a suggestion he may exaggerate a little for the TV…. His focus centred around a small loan sailing yacht drifting mid river, which had "broken away from it's mooring". Apparently we, the river police and the emergency services were "all watching this boat very carefully as it made its way down river… just around the corner is the marina with millions of dollars worth of boats this loose cannon could crash into, we are all just waiting to see what happens"… OMG!!!!!

But really!!!!!! The millions of dollars of boats had evacuated like lemmings over a cliff days before the flood… all that remained was a lonely house boat, hanging on for dear life …. and as to the loan yacht? Well it was the last of around 998 other boats that had already gone by minus their captain… along with half a restaurant, several water ski's, the odd fridge, snakes, lizards and countless jetties … OK some with their boats still moored but all now leading a new existence in our beautiful Moreton Bay…. … and did I mention a 300 tonne walkway? .. Mate - honestly - it was all over two days ago!

His yacht perhaps…??

15th January 08:45am - Brisbane Floods - Fashion

Good luck with any cleaning up you are doing, I know some of our people have been affected by the floods and it is inspiring to see those who have not been impacted volunteer to help those who have.

Gum boots are the hottest Brisbane fashion item at the moment and if you haven’t got yours yet, it may already be too late, they are selling fast!!!

14th January 08:31am - Brisbane Floods - river levels

For those who can’t see the river, I can confirm it has receded significantly overnight. Another foot and it will be back to the same level it was when I arrived home on Tuesday afternoon!

13th January 10:09am - Brisbane Floods - Lifts

For those who haven’t heard yet, it looks very much like both of our buildings have completely escaped the water!! Awesome... wot a relief!

Now you may recall I mentioned an inability to record Coronation Street? Turns out that was the least of it, it can get worse.... they have disabled our lifts.... FOURTEEN flights of stairs... dark ... narrow fire stairs are the only way out... and worse... the only way back! KILLER! even heading down is an experience... the "monster" noises and heavy breathing.... just around the corner as others climb up...

12th January 7:30pm - Brisbane Floods - Coro

OH NO! Our data centre provider just went onto Generator power... keep everything crossed they have a good relationship with the fuel supplier :(

We switched to generator here at about 4pm.... And have just learned that it is to be rationed in 2 hour blocks - 3 of them in the next 24 hours so my availability will now become limited.... BUT EVEN WORSE! My ability to watch Coronation Street has taken a hit!

12th January 6:30am - Brisbane Floods - The rain has stopped

I hope this message finds you all safe, dry and well this morning. Such beautiful sunshine can only be a good thing.... at 6:30am.... thank goodness it has stopped raining.... we may be saved yet!

Lots of water around this morning, plenty of cars flowing over the Story Bridge and I can see cars driving in the City. Low level restaurants at Eagle Street flooded this morning and power still on at Kangaroo Point, hopefully the same is true of the CBD.

Boats and pontoons continue to float on their own down the river – a rate of about 1 or 2 every 15 minutes.

If you haven’t seen the news yet, Coro Drive is closed.

11th January 2011 - Brisbane Floods - Eye Witness Account

Eye witness account.....

The river level viewed from Kangaroo Point is approx 2-3 hours into the rising tide, on its way to the next peak at 3am overnight. The level of the river now is approximately the same level as it was at its peak earlier today at 3pm. The boardwalk at Eagle Street Pier is once again underwater although the restaurants are not yet flooded.

Several pontoons, some of them complete with empty boat attached have floated past and several emergency boats are patrolling the river. The Dockside Marina is almost empty.

The lights of the city are still on.... but you might want to cancel that booking at Jellyfish....

Kangaroo Point marina - underwater

Oxley's Restaurant Floats away

Surveying the damage 

Goodwin Street, Kangaroo Point

Macleay Towers!! at least one Merc drowned!

Boats floated down river, out of control