Dear Sophie, Santa's lost weight....

A copy of a letter to my niece, December 2002

Dear Sophie

Santa's just popped in, he is looking well, lost a bit of weight!  Much better than last year, don't tell anybody but I had a quiet word with him, he had really let himself go but happy to say, it seems to have done the trick.  He has cut out mince pies, eats Rudolph's carrots instead, and he has cut down on the drinking! He tends to mix his drinks, especially when he does the present run on Christmas Eve.

That has created another problem though! Rather than disappoint all the little children and not eat his mince pies, and drinks his beer, Santa has been passing it on to Rudolph instead!  NOT a good idea! You should see the state of Rudolph, he won't even pose for a photo!  If he did you would have trouble fitting him in the view finder!!  Santa looks slim and healthy but Rudolph is so fat he can barely pull the sleigh.  The snow doesn't help – a very slippy take off from Lapland!  Rudolph's nose is redder and even shinier than ever from all the whiskey and his eyes don't look good!

cc by Walter Baxter

Santa claims flying with Rudolph is a bit like being on a roller coaster this year because Rudolph has drunk too many beers.  I have suggested to Rudolph that he share with the other reindeer but he is a bit naughty and keeps it to himself.  It was funny watching him take off from here, he nearly landed in next door's tree!  That'd be trouble!

Santa's face was a picture…

You will definitely hear him land when he arrives on Christmas Eve - listen carefully, he is bigger than an elephant!  You had best check in the morning to make sure he managed to take off OK and that Santa didn't leave him behind.

I told Santa that you are going to midnight mass so he will deliver your presents last. He doesn't finish until after 4 in the morning so thinks you should be home in bed asleep by then. He said if you aren't asleep when he arrives, he will pass by and give you double next year, assuming you are a good girl between now and then of course!

Lots of love

Aunty Jay

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