An emergency fax to my Niece, December 2013
Sophie
Can you please check your newspapers? I don't know what to make of the news bulletin below, what do you think? If true, it isn't looking good for Ian's jet bike again this year!
I have been unable to contact Father C, but there is an official press release from Lapland, I suspect it may be a cover up and worse still, the elves are in the frame!!
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE – LAPLAND 24TH December 2013
cc by Jamie C2009 This morning in Lapland, the elves were revolting. Several elves, led by known troublemakers, have persuaded many in the elf community to go on strike. The Father Christmas official Government body does not sanction this strike and orders all elves to return to work immediately, OR ELSE!!!
The elves are claiming that Santa ALWAYS gets the whiskey, the mince pies and that he steals all of the credit for their hard work. They are claiming he sits around, dishing out orders for 364 days each year, then puts in an appearance on one night and takes all the recognition and credit.
It is believed that many of the elves are above themselves following their successful appearance as extras on the recent Hollywood blockbuster Lord of the Rings, when in fact they only made a very brief appearance as extras in the final scene.Further trouble is expected from Rudolph, who is concerned about the new brakes that have been installed on the sleigh this year. As Lead Reindeer, he is concerned that without seat-belts (which are not compulsory for this group of merry men), he may be in serious trouble in the event of an emergency stop.The Lapland Government is requesting that children volunteer to assist in the final stages of present preparation. All children wishing to assist should prepare a letter to this Government, explaining why they feel able to do the job and also confirming they are not more than 3 feet 10 inches tall (this is standard Government approved elf height). Children greater than 3' 10" may also apply explaining how they might fit into a uniform designed to fit a smaller form and may be considered if there is a shortfall in the number of children required. If we are not successful in meeting the minimal numbers, there is a danger that Christmas will be cancelled this year or at best, all deliveries will arrive on Boxing Day, 26th December.
Children are asked to be asleep early on Christmas Eve to ensure letters can be collected in a timely manner. Letters should be left under the volunteer's pillow and will only be collected once everybody in the household is asleep.
Letter collection is being organised by the tooth fairy.
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| cc by Heather Sunderland |
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